I think Emily has been drinking again! But it should be ok, because she lives with her parents and they'll feed her mac and cheese in the morning to ease her hangover. Gabe keeps asking me for tips on how to stalk her and I tell him just let your eyes be drawn to the biggest thing you can see on the horizon and that would be her derriere.
Brennan will be two in August. Gojira is dead. I'm doing well enough! Jeremy is well. Everyone besides Gojira is still alive and well. :(
My keyboard fizzled out. I guess that's dead. Oops. Better count that one. It needs to be resoldered. Jeremy can fix it. Just have to be patient. Eee. I have my vocoder/synth and a three manual organ and a menagerie of other instruments, so I'm not doing without. The weighted 88-key keyboard was my favorite.
Brennan has discovered the joys of youtube and typing in "dogs barking funny" always yields satisfying results for him. Hehehe..
Found a stray dog on my birthday and took it to our vet. She was chipped, found the owner. Judy had been missing for two weeks. She was a bedraggled, half-starved and loving thing when I found her. Poor lady. Glad I could be of service and get her back to her human.
My car radio stopped working. Oops, another thing that's dead. It won't even show the time. All in all it's just a brick in the dash.
I tried to take a picture of my odometer when it got to 80085 but I was on the freeway headed to West Virginia, so by the time I got around to it, it said 80086. Damn.
My son is addicted to those Goldfish things because of my mother. He prefers an array of several varieties. I don't like feeding him things that are flavored "PIZZA" and come out shaped like cartoon fish with nothing resembling pizza about them.
Brennan runs now and fails at the tricycle, but he's getting there. Pedals are an elusive concept for him.
He says, "No no no no" and "kitty" pretty reliably. Other than that it's a struggle to get him to communicate. He's coming along. I have faith yet.
Speaking of my crotch fruit, he is wreaking havoc while I sit here. I bid you all adieu. All my faithful reader. Yeah, just one probably. I can guess who it is and her name is Emily and she's a species of whale that lives off the coast of Schizophrenic Island.
It's been a long time since I've posted anything here. I had my son on August 29th. He's almost 5 months old now and sprouting teeth. I haven't been up to much, mostly home life and most of that is spent with my son.
As the majority of people who read my Live Journal have an interest in Gabe, I'll mention that he's doing well in New Jersey, writing and drawing like he always has, but he's managing to sell some of it. Good and good.
Remy and I are doing well, though at time it can be a bit strained because I've gone stir crazy from being at home so much. It's not to be helped at this point, as I am taking care of a baby and I don't care to use a babysitter just so I can have idle time.
I've been reading a lot, rereading a lot of old books, playing the piano quite a bit, wanting to get back into the music scene, here.
I am cooking and cleaning every day, like a good little wifey. Sad to say that I'm actually starting to enjoy the cleaning aspect. It fills the rest of my day that Brennan and sleep don't occupy.
My son has found his voice and rambles incessantly. He loves to screech. I'd say it's adorable, but it honestly gives me a headache after a while! He is relentless. I love him.
I love my little family and all seems right. I am bored at times, but for the most part, I am content and happy.
My cat Gojira is very jealous of my son.. I wish I had more energy to pay attention to him like I used to. I mostly miss Gabriel because he really loved Gojira and Gojira him. It makes me sad to see them seperated.
I'm 17 weeks pregnant. I hope I can hold onto this one.
Remy and I are happy.
Gabe is finally leaving. And no, you can't have my cat, Gabe. Gojira was a birthday present from my Aunt. Go play with your new pussy.
Being pregnant has no upside that I can see other than the outcome! I'm constantly nauseous and my breasts are improbably huge. Please, don't get any bigger.
it's gabe's birthday, today.
just a reminder to myself about this shrouded figure of a man who came to me with open hands and leaves me, holding a dead left arm and a broken psyche.
my cousin had an aneurysm. he was brain dead, so we pulled the plug. he opened his eyes for a moment and we all yelled RYAN RYAN WAKE UP but he didn't. at least i got to hold his hand one last time.
this was on tuesday, very stressful. went home and woke up having a miscarriage, fouled the mattress.. remy stayed home today with me.
which was nice, because my rabbit Pig suddenly started having seizures out of fucking nowhere, and now HE is dying, swaddled in a blanket with a heating pad, because he's gotten very cold and won't stop seizing god damn it!
ryan was seizing, too. overstimulation to his dying brain just kept translating into seizures. very painful to watch. very painful to watch my aunt cry and clutch at him, saying she just wanted her best friend back. ryan was 32.
The thing in my belly was 6 weeks. (Tenatively called Bean)
Pig is two years old.
I'm pretty sure I lost my job because of all these absences. Ryan lingered in the hospital for a week and you better fucking believe being that is more important than some retail piece of shit job.
My boss hates pregnant people anyway and is always looking for an excuse to fire them. I suppose when he finds out I'm not pregnant anymore, he'll warmly receive me. Asshole.
Damn, that last touch. Ryan's hand was warm and sweaty. Next time I touch it, it will be cold and hard.
Pig is just cold, soft. I don't want him to go. Who else will chew my computer cables? Who else will shed everywhere and wake me up in the middle of the night sitting on my head. He's so so soft.. I don't want him to go on top of all this fucking death.
hard for me to just let go and write.
maybe if i just set the entry private it'd be easier.
not that many people read this, a couple old friends, a stalker or two, haha.. well, it's whatever. wonder what their motivation is. ahem. *coughs, looks pointedly* why? do you check my journal frequently? haha.. I can't imagine how boring it must be for you. Oh, please. let me remedy it for you and actually post a fucking entry.
my mom's cat died today. sucked.. we've been watching her die for almost a year, now. It was bound to happen sooner rather than later..
too many people in the house right now, having a hard time finding solitude to write or even play music, heh! people want me to play what they want to hear. that's fun and all, i like to jam or entertain, but only for so long. i just want to do my own thing.
it's really hard rebounding from gabe, he was so.. emotionally draining. i still have a lot of trouble dealing with him trying to kill himself in front of me. it comes unbidden and it's paralyzing for a moment, then i'm fine. it gets less frequent as time goes by.
it helps being with a stable person. remy is very calm and happy. it's such a change.. he's so reliable and earnest in his love for me, it's charming. i'm really quite taken with him. ^-^
been a little sick, lately. well, these past few years, it's just gotten more intense. nausea, it sucks. random puking. my stomach is so sensitive, if it weren't for an ocassional herbal.. remedy, i don't think i'd be able to keep food down.
hrm, is it silly to feel i'm going on about myself in my own diary/journal/wtf?
What is a person supposed to say, anyway? I don't know. Whatever comes to mind, fingers, er, yeah. ???
Made love twice today. 'twas good. very. brief, passionate embraces, today. oh so satisfying! man.. i am so smitten with him, just a glance from him is enough to make me wet. he's just so damn fine.
hrm, what faucet have i yet to cover?
i have a dog, now. my brother's dog had pups and my parents kept one and i kept one.
Stanley is part pure-bred husky and part mastiff mutt. I guess my brother's dog is more of a hussy than a husky, har har har.
Multitude of cats, namely one Gojira. I love that guy, he's a quarter lynx, born wild. My aunt chased him down in kentucky on her ex-husband's farm.
Ah, tired, finally. Good night.